Monday, January 18, 2010

Feeling down

first of all, sorry about the layout of this blog. Had wanted to change it a long time ago but just didn't had the time. Bear with it ya, I will fix it up when I can find the time (let;s see when )

Feeling a little down.. so decide to pop in here for a while before I continue with my work. The stress is back again resulting in my gastric haunting me  again.. yes i been eating non stop again.. put back 2 kg..

Just feel down since this afternoon by a sequence of events. And guess when I open my lappie and see a parituclar email, that just trigger off everything. It all boils down to relationships with people, work, etc etc.

People are just hard to please. Its probably easier to please God. Ironically Pastor just touch on the topic of keep your heart at rest and God will keep everything for me. Why am I still so down and trouble. I just can't keep still. Have been telling myself to keep still for the longest time. I thought I did it and today I realise I didn;t .

Stupid me, asking for trouble myself.  I am beginning to dislike myselt at times. Tell myself must do one thing and yet I do another thing.

I dislike myself for being so coward, why can't i just being more forefront and just say what I really want to say deep in my heart.

Because of fear? Why should I fear. I don't know.

Someday I think I might just....     so hard..   

Jolene sis has been reminding me to love myself more and I should do that.. Even frens tell me this. I should really learn to love myself more and forget about underserving person, ungrateful fellows. Sometime people just don't deserve blessings from me since they do not appreicate .

I wonder why are there these people exisiting in my life, in my work everywhere... 

Dear lord, give me the strength just as u give me in year 2009 to continue this journey of life. Its so hard, so tough. that many a times i feel like giving up. Make sure I don't break down lord.. I dont know how long i can withstand..

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