Rain

What a sudden rain...and showing now on the TV is a japanese show which I like. A repeat show. hmmm the  lead and this rain is reminding me of a friend.

Hope that this friend is doing fine and well. Many a times I feel like asking but stop myself. Well just keep it this way will be better..

May the lord keep this friend safe and sound...

Happy Blessed New Year

2 Corinthians 5:17


Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
 
 
 
Happy Blessed New year to all of you :) May the new year bring forth good tidings . Feel like texting you but decided not to. What's the point of texting when I know there won't be any response. Save you the hassle of deleting my msg or feeling... hmmm...
 
 If you happen to see this post, I hope you are doing well, no clue if you are in sg or already overseas. It doesn't matter, just take good care of yourself and keep alive. This is my wish for all my friends for all friends to be healthy and alive.

Thought of the day

When the wave came in, Tin Tin got scared and try to run away, He screamed," I want to go back, I want to go back." Its pretty funny. Both my sis and I held him tightly and let him float telling him , its allright. Actually he had ventrued out from 0.6M to 0.9M and he's wearing a life jacket so he can float but when the waves came in, he got swept and he got scared.

We held him tightly trying to calm him down and reassure him its safe. When the waves died down, he realise actualy he can float and he then dare to venture out and trying 1.2M this time round. Now  he doesn't want to get out of water.

Alot of times, due to the unknown, we got scared and tried to run away from the fear that aroses from our heart. We do not dare to face this unknown. Only when we know we are safe, would we dare to face it. But very often its we ouselves that we hinder from stepping out the first step.

Jesus says:

Deuteronomy 31:6


Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

John 14:27


Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Hmm

Hmm my sixth sense says that someone is lieing to me perhaps.. well anyway it doesn't matter now. I have did what I should and always wanted to do..   再多说也没用,也没什么好后悔的。该做的都已做了。The lord knows my heart and will guide me through..

Thank you lord

Thank you lord. Today I am happy, finally seeing result. A restful increase manifestation. This is just the beginning :)

hmm I do wish you are here to share my joy though. Well I should get you out of my mind instead.

十二月十九日

我想我会永远记住这天吧。
 
到现在心还在痛，时间会愈合伤口的。你也满残忍的，什么都不说。也许这样对我比较好吧？不知道也许是种幸福，但偏偏就这么巧让我知道了。这一天，本来我是已经回家了，最后决定留下来继续第四场的服务。就这样，知道你即将离开。心里在那一刹那，开始难过。

没想到会那么难过，原来这就是我真正的自己。所以做了这个决定。一个到头来或许连朋友都没得做的决定。但我不想以后遗憾终生。好几年前，我好遗憾当时没行动结果太迟了。我不想再有多一个遗憾。
我还是失败了，但至少我勇敢的，真实地面对自己。

写出来是想提醒自己，要永远勇敢。我不管也不在乎现在在读的读者是怎么想。你们要笑我笨，笑我傻，尽管吧！我是蛮笨的。

会难过一阵子，肯定的。到现在还在流泪。

In a way, perhaps the lord has answer my prayers cos i been asking for a direction. I still think things don't happen by chance. If i didn't continue to stay for serving for the next service, I wouldn't have know about your decision.  What I didn't know is why did the lord plant you in my life. That's the question which I haven't figure out. Well its kind of stupidity at my end. Really stupid of me. The lord mayb telling me to be smarter..

Penning this now as a reminder to myself to be stronger and to dare to face my own feelings. I do not want to live with the knowledge that I didn't express. Its totally not in my character, personality at all.  I don't know why I have the courage but i guess I just like you.  I been tearing and just as I thought I have recover, the next moment I start to tear. I know I will eventually be stronger and grow out of it. I won't snap into a depression cos I won't allow it.

我还是要祝福你,谢谢美好的回忆。 Thank you for the lovely memories, which  forms part of my life journey. Thank good care of yourself. Even if you do not acknolwedge me as a friend anymore, you will forever be one..  

Mrs Lee Kuan Yew's Funeral/ Mandai Crematorium/ 06 Oct 2010

A loving wife, a loving mother. May Mrs Lee rest in peace. It touches me to see how loving Mr and Mrs Lee are, the last kiss he plant on Mrs Lee touches me to the core.

 I believe Mrs Lee has been Mr Lee's source of strength all these years, may him remain strong. Rest in peace Mrs Lee, you have leave a legacy behind a role example for many to follow.

Fluffy

This is Fluffy the cat. A couple of months ago, as I walked towards the lift one night, I saw her walking towards me from the next block. How pretty she is.. a lovely cat.. I sayang it as usual (see I never learn from the previous incident whereby I got bitten :P)

when I told my younger sis about it, I realiase she notice Fluffy too. Yup my sis call her Fluffy.. I think everyone likes Fluffy Why? I been seeing quite a few people feeding her, sayanging her. I think they all call her Fluffy too , accordinly to my Elder sis, she heard people calling it Fluffy..

My younger sis bought cat food just for her. Aint Fluffy blessed? The other day when we brought Tin and Crystal to feed her, a cat which passes us smell the cat food and we fed it too. See because of a blessed Fluffy, the other cat get fed too. A hungry cat. Noted a collar around it, wonder who abandon both of them.   Who knows maybe Fluffy isn't being abandon?

Anyway I can't help but to think of this today Mathew 6:25-30



25"(A)For this reason I say to you, do not be (B)worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?



26"(C)Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?






27"And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?






28"And why are you )worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,






29yet I say to you that not even )Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these.






30"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!

If Fluffy is being well fed, let alone me who is the precious beloved child of God. 

Thank you lord

2 Sisters reminded me. I think I should really thank the lord and don' t be so ungrateful fellow.

Got an award today for doing the forecast piece which I spend alot of time for the past 2 years trying to revamp the whole process. was a surprise but really i feel nothing. Nothing exciting if u were to ask me. I do have peopel telling me well deserve and its long overdue anyway... I really feel nothing. If this award has come earlier before that incident , I probably would have jump for joy.

But this time round after all that has happened, it does not mattered anything to me now.  Everyone asking a treat from me now .(strange that when u have award, everyone would just suddenly become friendly to you, congratulating you... its not even a promotion or what)  nah... I am just totally can't be bothered.  Bad huh me?  Well basicaly I am just neutral.... 心灰意冷吧??

If I have a chance to tell my boss I would tell her: You know what I want, I can't be bothered with this award...

I greedy? Nope I am not.. what matters more is something else which I know if I continue to stay here, I won't get it..... and giving me this award as a sweetner, sorry I don't buy this trick anymore...

Nevertheless. I thank you lord for giving me this award. Someday I will see how this will change my life though I can't see it now.

Star Egg .. No should be Egg in Star shape

Pretty? Cute?  Dear TS has this made for me. I happen to text her last sunday and telling her I was feeling down. And she made this for me for Monday's lunch. So sweet. I thank the Lord for her presence. i was telling her the other day if I have left this company for another 2 years ago, I won't have get to know her better. In a way its via J sis. If not for her hospitalisation I won't have to get to know TS better.

Guess the lord has some plans for me. I am busy planting seeds along the way too. Thought the seed hasn't grown yet, the seed has been sowed. One day surely it will bloom and florish....

犯小人?

最近好像犯小人了。当我心情已经恢复平静时，昨晚S发了封简讯。一看，我晕了。无缘无故我被扯进一些纠纷，一个跟我毫无关系的纠纷。最好笑的是，从头到尾，我都没说过一句关于那件事，现在变成是我在散播谣言。 不理，清者自清。大家知道我的为人就好。

今天发生了一件不愉快的事。我只能说一些误会吧！我也不想多加解释，反正说了也没用。When one has decided and pass judegment on you, there is no way you can clarified. The lord knows my heart and will surely provide a path for me. for now, I just lie down.

The day will surely come.....

The toilet bowl analogy

A dirty toilet bowl will be dirty no matter how many times you flushed. It will only be clean if its scrubbed cleaned.

一个黑心的人若不好好反省,心始终都是黑的.

你说是黑就是黑,你说是白就是白.你赢了只因我不想跟你争。没什么好争好理论的，吃亏的都是我。但是，记住最终的胜利者会是我，因为主站在我这里。罗 马 书 12:19 亲 爱 的 弟 兄 ， 不 要 自 己 伸 冤 ， 宁 可 让 步 ， 听 凭 主 怒 。 （ 或 作 让 人 发 怒 ） 因 为 经 上 记 着 ， 主 说 ， 伸 冤 在 我 。 我 必 报 应

Am surprised how you can twist and turn your words. Thanks for taking me through this ride of black and white twisting and turning, thanks for letting me witness how you can change so fast. Perhaps something for me to learn. Thank you for letting me see your motive.

You must be wondering why I am with no emotions today, keep on asking me if I am allright. The only part which I dislike is I shed a tear down my right eye, and you saw it. But well no emotion in my tone and don't expect me to have any in future too. I already told myself no more shedding of tears, cos its worthless.

I read this verse before meeting you and the lord shall avenge me.

Romans : 12:19
Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,”[a] says the Lord.

No matter what happens

I shall not shed a single tear tomorrow. Last year I did and I don't want to go through this again... Enough is enough. Stay cool... Since I already said the season is over it means is over. Never had I been this firm..

Lord give me the peace and widsom to guide me through..

This is the first step and I know I have more things to go through in all aspects of my life.. tough but I know the lord is with me through my life journey walk.

Pat Pat myself don't give up...

也许

越压抑,越思念。。。。。。

The lord remove the mountain?

I actually am feeling indifferent when I hear the news. My boss suddenly called for a meeting and then announced what a few of us had been hearing. Yup she is rotating out to another role.

Xiaoheng say the lord has remove the moutain. i don't know but I trust in the lord. Meanwhile while I am still here, guess its might be good. No idea anyway she has already hired a new manager and have gotten a few of us to report into the new manager. Whatever, i don't bother.

its clear to me, the season is over for me to be in this team.

Xiaoheng asked me a question if I have asked God whats God's reason of putting me in this team. I been thinking and I can only think of 2 reasons.

1) to help to bridge Miss E and the rest of the team and today I can proudly say I have accomplished that.

2)Lord is showing me his Grace and Love towards us. I really see the transformation of neighbour, totally change to a lovely lady. And I relaly appreicate all the fellowship time I have with her these days,this is something I won't dare to dream about 3.5 years ago. In fact then I often ask why she as a child of God behaves in that manner.

staying cool

Am staying cool like a cucumbr and I pray i will maintain this till next tuesday is over.....

Lord I come to you that I remained cool and composed and have a cheerful peaceful heart and not get agitated no matter what M says. I do not want to and do not wish to get upset over this again.

I tell myself the lord will avenge for me and all promotions comes via the lord. Justice will be done.

:)

Depression??

J sis was describing to me syndroms of depression and I went: Ya ya i also expereience this. Then she went: U got mild depressoin. I went.......uh oh... but i did noticed lately I been having bad memory, no mood to work and the list go on........... This got worse since especially since 2 weeks ago...

Its not about job mainly job yes but something else too. Think I been thinking too much. I been having difficulity sleeping, and having sleepless night. Now I don't even have dreams. sweet dreams... ........

Maybe I should start to open up... God help me

跌倒了,扫一扫灰尘,再站起来

Never expect that I would lost control this morning and I just teared. Horrible, I wonder why am I so weak. Guess boss heard me, thank god she cant see me. But well guess I told her what I been feeling and all she can say is : I wish I can turn back the clock and have this conversation with you earlier on.

I think thats really.I don't know what to say. All i know is she had put words right back into my mouth, stating I have said this and that which is not true. I have to correct her.

Anyway a fact is a fact, it won't change. I have totally lost the trust in her. After what has happen how do you expect me to trust her anymore.

May the lord continue to guide me.

Its a bad fall but I know I can stand up again. I tell myself its just a job. I dont like it i can always find a new job. A job is just a job. I am blessed that I am still alive, still kicking around.

A loss might not be a loss. Its is a blessing to me. I know...

In remembrance

surpise, that people leave me blessings of birthday wishes in my FB. Thanks folks ya.. Didn't expect it...

Just a ordinary day for me. However Pastor mentioned on Sunday about celebration in remembrance. Why did God want us to pray since he alreayd know what we want. He delights us in remembering him.

Guess now I am full of thoughts about what to say to Boss tomorrow. Pray about it and thought about. Anyway it has got to besettled sooner or later.

Also I am full of thoughts of some other stuff too. kind of messy head now. May the lord leads me and guides me, may the holdy spirt speaks to me, give me divine appointments, qarah.

Lord, give me success from today onwards, give me the wisdom, and guide me and teach me. Let me find favour in all people. Nothing is impossible for you lord.

Shall start life anew

guess now I need to pick up the pieces and try to start life anew. Hopefuly i dont face any more disappointments again. If i do fall down again, I just got to crawl up and walk again.

The lord is my strength now....... next tuesdsay I shall have a closure. I pray is not a nasty birthday pressie for me. Anyway how bad can it be, since I already receive a bad one already right..

don't wish to be reminded of birthay but people reminded me.

Taking abt this, i was so super blur. SJ is so sweet, bought a cake for me when we went to Daphne's house last saturday. Blur me happen to walk into the kitchen to get some water. When daphne and SJ saw me, one of them say something like : Aiya........

Didn't pay any notice, i remember i still tell daphne: Eh why didn't tell me earlier.. ( i tot the cake is for her boy or girl )

then it turn out its for me when they sang the song.................my goodness I am so blur..

really thanks this bunch of gals for the pleasant surprise... if I tell TS , she is going to laught at me for sure. She always say I am super blur.