Monday, October 25, 2010

Finally I declare

If not for Roland's encouragment I probably would notshare during last sat's gathering.

Glory to the lord that i declare I am out of depression. Why did I sunk into depression, I didnt even realise I was in until I talk to J jie and confirm it.
It all began in June, when I clarified with XX on some of her decisions. I am shocked by her answers and the hurting thing is she denied askingme to do ANZ + forecast together. Know what she did. She hired someone internal with a grade higer to handle ANZ and then promtoed K to do forecast.

To add to the would further, she furtheradded to say I am not good, lousy. These words are like blades cutting deep into my heart and there it is. the damage was done.I feel so condemn.  And in Jul/Aug during evauation she start to pinpoint a point which is up till now I feel is a makeup story by her. She can't even pinpoint the exact file and mind you I take pride in my work . 

After all these hurtful stuff I feel so  condemned and lousy and really am washing my face with tears espcially during Sunday church. Tears would just roll down nonstop... All thanks to joyce meyer. She had a guest speaker Pastor Phil princle and while listening. Bling.. Suddenly I see the light in that instant. learning to let go.

It was all abt the wounded spirit and finaly i understtood why I was so upset. Its the bleach of trust by XX

Now I have learn to let go.

By the way someone did tell me K has backstabbed me to climb up, probly she did. But I do not care now really, I still treat her with grace.  Just the other day I bought her favourite juice, wrote a note to cheer her up and left it on her desk.

U know it was a blessing in disguise that I did not get promoted. Why? Becasue I see K is so stressful now all thanks to political moves and decisions by XX. Did I mention that XX is moving to another dept.  Did the lord remove a mountain?  Anywa what I want to say is now I do not miss care grp like in the past cos I do not have to worry about forecast. tomrowo I can go cg and sleep well while K has to stay back to consolidate. Finally my rest is here. :)
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The lord know what is best for me and where I should go. I know I have accomplish my goal in this team, mision accomplished. These are goals which I can't in my performance evaualtion but is something that I can write and speak to the Lord about it.  Helping Preggy to reconcile bac with the rest of the collegues, trianing her to pick up the work stuff.  Sounds like I am abit dumb hor. but really I love the peace.


Rest in the lord and wait patiently for him...Psalm 37:7  next time i shall share what my revelations is about this phrase.

Mrs Lee Kuan Yew's Funeral/ Mandai Crematorium/ 06 Oct 2010

A loving wife, a loving mother. May Mrs Lee rest in peace. It touches me to see how loving Mr and Mrs Lee are, the last kiss he plant on Mrs Lee touches me to the core.

 I believe Mrs Lee has been Mr Lee's source of strength all these years, may him remain strong. Rest in peace Mrs Lee, you have leave a legacy behind a role example for many to follow.



Thursday, October 21, 2010

An article on North korea

http://www.zaobao.com.sg/fk/fk101020_008.shtml   like the way hows its written, and is really the truth. I didn't have to subject my camera to checks though . Perhaps I was lucky.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Smack the spider

http://www.gocomics.com/comic_page/view/86529

Now I can understand why Garfield is always smacking the spiders . They are annoying.. aint they....  Someday I may just smack one too.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

CLM?

Think on Friday I just make a career limiting move. I pointed out a gap and the audience happen to be my controller in her new role.  Honestly I could have kept quiet because I am only backin up for my collegue and I could have close one eye and settle the issue.

However me being me, seeing the gap and where the problem lies I decided to speak up and wrote a diplomatic email (I spend at least 10-15 mins on that email and vetted and corrected and tone it down) I guess I reach the stage whereby I do not care if I offend my boss, my new manager and whoever.

I did the right thing and know I have God's righteous with me and even if I get reprimanded, I am without regrets. God will move me to the right place where I need to be.

Talking about my new manager.. haiz she reminded me fo who I was 6-7 years back. A spider. Know what is a spider? Kancheong spider. I am not a manager but I do know what is to stay cool and relax and calm. Over the years I see the change in me, especially after I know God and with good training in the last company I slowly change.

Not to say I don't care but rather I appear calm on the outside graceful like a swan but underneath paddle like crazy

Well she has lots to go, yes she is new but handling of matter wise........ may the lord guide her..