Finally I declare

If not for Roland's encouragment I probably would notshare during last sat's gathering.

Glory to the lord that i declare I am out of depression. Why did I sunk into depression, I didnt even realise I was in until I talk to J jie and confirm it.
It all began in June, when I clarified with XX on some of her decisions. I am shocked by her answers and the hurting thing is she denied askingme to do ANZ + forecast together. Know what she did. She hired someone internal with a grade higer to handle ANZ and then promtoed K to do forecast.

To add to the would further, she furtheradded to say I am not good, lousy. These words are like blades cutting deep into my heart and there it is. the damage was done.I feel so condemn.  And in Jul/Aug during evauation she start to pinpoint a point which is up till now I feel is a makeup story by her. She can't even pinpoint the exact file and mind you I take pride in my work . 

After all these hurtful stuff I feel so  condemned and lousy and really am washing my face with tears espcially during Sunday church. Tears would just roll down nonstop... All thanks to joyce meyer. She had a guest speaker Pastor Phil princle and while listening. Bling.. Suddenly I see the light in that instant. learning to let go.

It was all abt the wounded spirit and finaly i understtood why I was so upset. Its the bleach of trust by XX

Now I have learn to let go.

By the way someone did tell me K has backstabbed me to climb up, probly she did. But I do not care now really, I still treat her with grace.  Just the other day I bought her favourite juice, wrote a note to cheer her up and left it on her desk.

U know it was a blessing in disguise that I did not get promoted. Why? Becasue I see K is so stressful now all thanks to political moves and decisions by XX. Did I mention that XX is moving to another dept.  Did the lord remove a mountain?  Anywa what I want to say is now I do not miss care grp like in the past cos I do not have to worry about forecast. tomrowo I can go cg and sleep well while K has to stay back to consolidate. Finally my rest is here. :)
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The lord know what is best for me and where I should go. I know I have accomplish my goal in this team, mision accomplished. These are goals which I can't in my performance evaualtion but is something that I can write and speak to the Lord about it.  Helping Preggy to reconcile bac with the rest of the collegues, trianing her to pick up the work stuff.  Sounds like I am abit dumb hor. but really I love the peace.


Rest in the lord and wait patiently for him...Psalm 37:7  next time i shall share what my revelations is about this phrase.