What can I say

Sometimes I wonder why did God make me go through this up and down. One moment I happily on heaven and the next month drop right smack down hard on earth. Ouch!!!!

This is coming to 6th weeks plus, its been a struggle. Its a miracle that I didn't even fall sick, really I didn't even take mc just have gastric and at most rest on weekends= work work work---> Go home--->Work work work.

Now I think I probably lost the trust in some folks. I was so happy when I was promised to go for the course, and she promised to find me a backup. (the joke is I can't take leave now cos no body can back me up for one portion of my work).

Now with E unknown return date to office, my hope of the course crushes. I was hoping to go for the course and waited for a1 yr plus or was it 2 years plus.

This is not the worst part. Its not that I am not understanding, K needs to go for surgery and I know she really needs to, as such we have to help her to cover her work. I kind of pity K, she has to schedule her surgery right in wk 1 and I think boss wants her to try to cover for close, my goodness, why don't let sick people just rest. and K is intending to do that. I tell K, just go rest.

Deep in my heart i was thinking, even if K never goes on surgery I doubt B would let me go for my course.

The next disappointment I have is I keep hearing things like : I hear you. And then just tell me : Mei, I am sorry, you would still have to cover XXXXXXX. I already said I am running out of bandwidth and realy i cant. I know alot of times, I would squeeze myself really hard to produce, i think I should just stop doing that. If it happens, it happens, it its looks ugly on our team, let it be.

I got so much thing to do... how do you expect me to cover for everybody. I can't even take leave now, dont even dare to fall sick.


To rub salt into my wound, on this terrible thursday when I was made to drop my course, told to continue to cover E, and be prepared to cover till the end of the year, I lost mhy contact lens. somehow it drop on the floor while I went for my long time miss facal. :(

When I walk to the bus top after I am done with my facial, of all things, this drunkard has to appear. And i realisae i was alone and i start to pray. This guy just stop right in the middle of the road and try to stop taxi, how dangers that is. The cars are all speeding down this slope. gosh. and from a distance, I can smell the alcohol, confirm he is drunk.

thank god 2 other guys pop up, at least i feel safer. when the pedestrain lights turns green, I quickly move.

What a eventful sad day for me.

Somehow I shed some tears as I went to bed. I was rushing my presentation after I reach home, didnt even have time to think about all these sad stuff. As I lay on bed, i just teared, pray to the lord then fell asleep.

Lord, give me the wisdom and tell me what should I do ..................................