还是做了

是冲动吗?还是失望,难过? 最后还是做出了决定。 决定一切交到主的手中。 Cast all my cares to the Lord...

Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all ways acknowledge him and he shall guide your path.  Proversbs 3:5-6

学会放开

未尝不是一件好事..

Something about you

Go where u lack

Just got this revelation when Tim and Karen gave me a ride home yesterday. Go where you lack, serve the people, God will provide where you lack, and mutiply through his grace.. amen..

Xmas,, my gifts to others

this is what I been giving to some CG memebers , and collegues.
Yes gold nuggets, they are all chocolates :) ok this brown paper bag looks ugly i know.... this brown paper bag is the waxy type which is glossy and hard to stamp and esily crumbled. I had to went into SKP and look around and buy the paper version and redo it. ITs nicer. Unfortunately me so blur forgot to take the photo.

I had one done with antique gold embossing powder. Nice i like it.
Hopefully receiptient of it likes it too.    :) .. how could I forgot to retake and I buy nicer ribon too.. stupid me....

How I wish time would freeze

I am wishing time would just freeze.. Freeze at my happy moments. Like Tuesday dinner with a fren, today's gathering with the angels, at wl's house etc etc. The happy moments......  :) I am dreading Jan to come  ...........

Am watching 绝对男友special edition now. Zhuangchi is so cool. Not handsome but just has his own style. Reminds me of someone.  Someone who is tall, not handsome type with his own style.

Was chatting with Autumn last night sharing with her what SY told me. She also would do the same thing like SY. Now they are both my idols now. I told her I would only do so if say I am diagnosed with terminal illness or if I am going somewhere not coming back........ I just lack the courage and......... well I am the subtle type i guess.................

who knows maybe one day .............

Dear lord, why didn't  u freeze that moment....

My idol is now

A certain xiao mei. Was just chatting with her and really admire her for her guts.. She told me if she like someone she would declare to that guy and then will back off if the guy is not interested. :)

Nothing wrong with that. In fact I admire her courage cos she is fighting for what she wants.   Perhaps I should be like her. But its just not me lor... .  

Merry Xmas to all

Wishing all of ya a Merry xmas. :)  

A day to rejoice the birth of our Saviour.     May the new year brings forth new hope, new beginning  to all of ya...   I also waiting for mine... My 3 wishes shall carried forward :) till they are fulfilled by the Lord. Takes great patience.. I just got "scolded" by TS for not following da ge's advice.


I said I trust in the lord..... Think she probably faint when she hear that...

Well I am just going to let go of certain things.................................. yup let go means let go............ Amen Jesus hear me..

Avatar

Avatar

A great show, I highly recommend everyone to watch it. Good 3 D effects.  I especially like the night scenes, so beautiful and so romantic. I especially like the nature part of it... Because I like nature.   Somehow remind me of gong qi jun... all his cartoons.  

2009 is coming to an end

How time flies and 2009 is coming to an end so soon... Lord, you haven't fulfilled my wish yet.Today is 24 eve and another 7 more days it will be hello 2010. Lord, I wrote down 3 wishes for this year, and none of it is fulfilled YEt. I know its will be fulfilled by you one day.

Lord, give me your wisdom and teach me/guide me. Sometiems I am a confused lamb, should I continue holding on or should I just give up.... The only thing I have figured out so far is to just let everything go and let you do the job for me, Lord.

I guess thats the best way for me now.. Since even if I worry, I won't fulfilled anything. Now Lord, I cast my cares to you... so that you will take care of everything for me, and I do not have to worry again.

Sometimes I pray this prayer, lord, whats your purpose for me in this world, this life now? If its not required of me, then take me home with you. Weird prayer right? I do not fer death now for I know you are there with me Lord. But looks like you have a purpose for me since I am still alive . Therefore lord, show me what you need me to do, to please you to fulfilled what you ask of me lord.. need your guidance to open my eyes

Hmmmm

A mixed feeling day..... don't know how to explain just mixed.... Let's see what the lord tell me later in lala land...

也许的也许....

有时会突然想念一些朋友.就象今天。想念某人。 也没有特别原因，就是想念。
想起了《想念你的歌》。。。。。。

太累了，去睡了。。。。 没力了。。。太痛了。。。

Blur me..

I did it again... blur me... actually get out at outram mrt this morning and the moment I get out , i realise i am at the wrong station. I immediately dart back into the train.. How embrassing this is.. Malu...

TS is so sweet today. I thought last night she was joking when she said she gonna bring bread and avocado and make sandwich using the toaster over at my level.. And she reallly bring it this morning.. So paisay, I couldn't help her to slice the avocado as I was rushing out some adjustments.. Took me a long time to do that adjustments trying to match those deals and sales agents.A few hours later, I realise I had mix up one of the deals . :(
Wish I can stop doing this, kind of irrating. Almost 3 years and this particular profile is still haunting me. I can only say I don't like this XXX customer now.....


Kind of short memory nowadays.. I think whover date me better remind me many times cos I tend to forget and nowdays i had to put dates or reminders into my hp, else I really can't remmber.. :( Getting blur also.....

The other day saw this collegue whom I didnt see long ago. I almost can';t recognise her and when I comment that she look good with this new image. She mention: " I say hi to you yesterday, you ignore me ". I went dumbfolder :" did you call me, when?" She says:" ya you come up for lunch I was there" TS says: Yes she is there you blur again. OH No ... goodness...

I seriously didn't see this collegue.. goodness... must have assume she is someone from non finance...

No wonder TS comment that one day if someone likes me, I also won't notice, cos I am too blur le. TS always make this comment abt me.. u are a blur small dot.... Opps.. I replied saying that person be more direct lor.. hahah

Oppportunity?

Got an email from boss asking me if I am ok to be part of a testing for this new entity set up saying I ask to be part of it some time ago and this is a great opportunity to be part of it.

Sounds great? In the past my reaction will probably be hooray , OK I am in. Today my reaction is : I check the date. stare at my close calendar and decided, sorry not for me.

Even if means forgoing some chance of promotion I am going to let this go simple because I want my health and life back. :)

Although I must say I do really like to do system implementation, testing etc. Weird huh, chossing the worst task of all. I already said I am not the typical finance person. I can never do financial accounting. A pity though, cos that will really make my CV look good. Headhunters, recruiters would usually comment but well I simply don't like financial accounting cos its too boring for me. If I did FA earlier, I think i would be like my peers now, CFO, Assitant CFO some high level manager etc..unlike a small fry now..

Whatever it is. I just want to be happy.....




Anyway from what I have seen do more= do less= same rank forever= same pay forever=you won't go anywhere. Unfortunately I fear the team has shared the same as me because time have proven this.

Also I do not advocate hard work, but boss advocate this so.......

Psalm 23- Don Moen

Yesterday my happy song is :Over the rainbow-what a wonderful world by Aselin Debbison

Today my peace song is Psalm 23 by Don Moen. Simply love Don Moen songs. God has given him the gifts .





Psalm 23
Jesus, my shepherd and only provider
He makes me lie down in green pastures
He leads me beside the still water
He restores my soul

Surely goodness and mercy will follow me
All the days of my life
And will dwell in house forever
Until the end of time

Jesus, my shepherd and only provider
You make me lie down in green pastures
You lead me beside the still water
You restore my soul

Though I walk through the valley of shadows
I will not be afraid
Your rod and staff are my only comfort
And You'll be with me always

You prepared a table before me
In the presences of my enemies
And you anoint my head with oil
And my cup overflows
My cup overflows with your love
With your love

Jesus, my shepherd and only provider
You make me lie down in green pastures
You lead me beside the still water
You restore my soul

You are my sunshine....

Was listening to Joel Osteen's podcast this morning and realise tears were forming in my eyes when I hear the story of the little boy and the little girl.  

I must say Joel Osteen's mesages is always simple and clear and easy listening. I been introducing his sermons to TS who is a non believer. At least she don't reject it.

 Hmmm some leader in church during a minstry meeting was saying about he brings hope and our pastor talks about Grace something along the line. Don't really like that comment.  Each Pastor has their calling using their unique gifts to spread the word of God and spreading Jesus's love. That is why we see some pastors are annointed for healing, some are great workship leaders. God built us all differently and annoint us with different gift sets. And Joel does preach about Grace.   I wish to tell him, don't put others down even though I know you love our Pastor.

Anyway's

Here's a  link  to that sermon I was listening.. You can subscribe to the podcast via Joel osteen minstry website too, itunes.

Speaking the blessing


You are my sunshine, don't take my sunshine away..........................goes the little boy..

Survive another day

At least I wake up not feeling irratable. Still didn't sleep well but better than the night before for sure.  Maybe its really me having PMS but really I don't have that issue.

Still can find time to send a encourage link to Lavender and K. Send that to TS late last night when she was working. Crazy people in my company all being made to do work so late at night.

Today E kind of make me feel like slapping her.  For some reason she wasn't online and who knows if she working from home or what. I wanted to find her to get her to follow up on an important deal for my updates to Corporate this Friday,  Knowing how her controller and how she works, I have to preempt her.

She finally ping me, guess Bea gotten her to ping me.  She actuallly ask me if I had finished updating my profiles. I really feel like slapping her.  Maybe I should have respond in these 2 ways .1) I am not as efficient as you dear, I am still struggling to finish my XXX no of profiles.  (2) If I am doing your work, by now I am shaking leg and thats is why I have time to chase you for these updates.  or maybe (3) Let's swop. Since you are so efficient, perhaps you are more suitable for my role :).


Oppos I sound evil. Anyway I just say nope I didnt and I started since weekend (ok i purposely say the word weekend, cos I know all my team mate s do that , all except her)...    Dear lord, I promise myself I will tell boss that I can't handle for next month. Its up to Boss to go handle it. I rather admit defeat. I had enough for one whole year. If she don't act, hahaha good luck to her.. Easy for me to quit, then for her to find someone. Who would be so dumb to do my role.. Did I tell u folks, nobody want to back me up for forecast cos no one wants this shitty job.

Anyway if E were to make me annoyed again, I think someday I might just lost control. Dear lord , pls go and make her watch her mouth. Always so blunt. . Hmm talking abt that I wanted to remind her of something but haven't find the opoortunity to do so... Can someone tell me how can I do that. I wanted to tell her, next time if she were to go on leave and need to do transition, could she do a propre transition and then alert her peers on the outstanding items.

Each time she left the job hanging and left the people covering her scrambling and trying to figure out what happen. I had to reteach my collegue what to do on her piece. All I did was a 2 hr session followed by some quick sessions  checking my collegue's first time work. Why can't she do that.  And she left a outstanding issue hanging, by chance, I happen to catch it. 

 By the way when I took over this piece, nobody taught me what to do. I had to figure out my ownself and create my own process.  See the world is never fair and it never will be . We just need to take it in our stride :)

Anyway purpose of telling E is not to put her down, its for her own good. Else she never learn. Thought she had learn the lesson the last time round, but appaently she didn't.

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On a separate. I overheard from TV earlier that on christmas day they are going to show the special edition of  绝对男友.  :) Since I am always dateless on Xmas day. I shall be watching this at night.
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Dec 14-----Not my usual self

Just not my usual self today. Seems that I woke up form the wrong side of the bed. Didn't sleep well. somehow lately I not been sleeping well. Last night it just seem i didnt't sleep a wink.. actualy I only slept at 2am this morning.. and I can't sleep.

Imagine discover issue at 1am., quickly alert US and my controller, least the sales start making noise on Monday when they see that issue... Brain all got twisted.

And whole day today i have aches and pains all over . even my right arm is so aching..  Bad posture and work too long without stretching, And prolong working causes all this.

So pain and sick with all my closing that I cant take it anymore... Time for action..

I promise myself something and I want to do that..  Must pamper and love  myself more. Remember Jolene's sis  words to me : :learn to love  yourself more. 要好好爱自己.  Think the lord really put her in my path, its just so coincidence to bump into her few months back and sharing the word with me. Thank you lord.

So when B returns, time to talk to her....   I know if I don't do that, I will break down. Am already on teh verge.  Its been a out of extraordinary year and a super tiring and busy  x Infinity year for me.  Time to take a step back and rest.

Scary but thank lord for giving me the wisdom

Some hours ago, it just hit me how scary sometimes things can turn out. How others's issues can end up involving you.  Scary. Thank lord for giving me the wisdom.

I feel kind of .......   Can't find the right word to use now. its just ..................

Lio Lio and ms snow.. time to talk to u two le... small matter lah. but just to catch u up plus pass u two xmas pressies......................

Zhuzhu pets

Sis laught at me cos I do not know what is zhu zhu pets, apparently they are the latest toy in the US . There you go , see for yourself, would you buy it for your kids?  keke i do not know if its here in sg yet..  never go toys dept for so long...

zhuzhu Pets

Interesting ads

If you flipped today's straits times, you would have seen the telco's latest promo for the iphones.  Interesting, remind me of the umbrella ads.

Have fun..   

A job is just a job - Part 2

How amazing a sleep can do wonders even though its not quality sleep. I must admit I don't have good qulaity sleep lately, and all this can tell from my face....  Well I wake up so peaceful, with a lovely song. :)  Its like everything is so peaceful, so wonderful........

Until u reach office, things change. you see negative things, collegues with negative thoughts. The bad point about me is I am easily influence by the surroundings. If colelgues are not happy, I will sense it and don't feel happy too. 

I had my collegues thanking me that day, cos I send them a note saying whatever Boss do, she has a reason. and we know that she won't disclose it . Disclosing sometime will help us to understand better but probaby she feel we may treat our peers differently as such choose not to disclose.


Its okay if someone can't cope and have the load reduce, but don't just get someone to do it without explaining why. As point out by one peer, don't do it at the expense of us,neglecting our feelings.

I certainly don't wish to see the whole team unhappy. Probably Boss overlook that we are afterall humans with feelings, not robots.

Whatever it is, my messages with A probably help. Don't know what he discuss with B, but somehow he now has to relook at our load.  Does this help? I don't know. I did tell A,  looking at our number of profiles each is crap, if you have little, maybe yes its easy but it could be complicated work, so u need to adjsut all that factors in. And all the extrac ECA, coordination stuff all takes time..... Glad he see my point.

I do really hope Boss give A his over due recognition. That is something I am disgusted with.    Talk is cheap, I told A that.  You can say anything you want, saying how good you are, balalbalbla, end of the day where's the action.

Anyway we all have a choice. And I know I did to do something very important now.....          

Stay at peace with yourself and everything will fall into place......................

A job is just a job

A job is just a job, now am telling myself this.

Intially had thought it would be a relief to have E coming back to the team but guess all of us are wrong. It is really puzzling and kind of surprise to know the decision which boss had made. Yes I know I should not judge but I can't help it, its just pure favouritism. Ridicuously, do no want to load her, steep learning curve etc according to what she had told one of my collegues.

Who has given the rest of us this chance. since when in my company do we have that luxury, moreover excuse me, she is not new.  Jealous if u ask me, nope I am not. I only want my life and my collegues lifes back thats all. 

How disgusting, E actually had her role cut. Perhaps boss and her had some special arrangments made. I do not know, and really since Jan this year I learn there is no such thing call transparent.  All I do know is the role model in our team is also getting piss off.  All of us are too nice to keep quiet and never report what actually occurs. This is how kind we are and now this bites us back.

I just got to learn of a new powerful word. "Pregnant "   really powerful. Come join my team if u are planning to get pregnant.. But risk being resented by the rest cos we have to cover everything of yours and when u come back, ur role gets cut... isn't it good.

I don't mind to switch my role with her . Anyway I had enough................... I really can't be bothered now.. I didn't even submit a certain report for the 2nd month now. If people did not ask and chase for it this  means they do not need it and thus means I shouldn't be wasting my time on it.

Did I hear something about maybe equity adjustments, promotions . No special forumula but ur performance needs to exceed your current level of expectations.

My opinion if you ask me. I feel like vomiting. Phui... Its still back to B&P and now an additonal P. Now the new abbreviation is BPP....

Now what is the lord trying to tell me, maybe Grace no longer exisit. When God wants you to be in somewhere else, he will lead u to it by making ur circumstances unbearable........ maybe thats it.............. Let's see.

Sorry Boss, u just make E the topic now.  Now no one in the team is going to be happy for sure....  For me, don't come poke me. Poke some more, you bear the consequence. My skill sets are portable with me thats what I know.
.................................................
OK am done with venting my frustrations.. time to go zzz.. back to backm eeting from 8am all the way... tomorrow.. sheesze think i can skip my lunchie again...   I still owe peopel things.. Don't know what is happen in G China.. all the deals just come non stop china, hongkong, everywehre and all of them requires extra work ....... what kind of deal structure is that....


    i need plum soda. to make me happy now